Where is my Mind?
That has been the question running through my head this past few weeks. This past week has been a rough one, as I've been questioning myself on why I'm here in Washington. I believe there was quite an immediate innate feeling when we first got here, but it has definately not been easy here. If you aren't in the loop, Mike's g/f and one of my good friends, Lindsay has joined us here at Washington and has fallen into our small support group. No one said it would be easy to just move out here, but I don't think anyone has expected this. All three of us here aren't really doing what we want, job wise, and that has caused somewhat of a weight. I just seem to be in this constant struggle with everything, as I can't seem to get on my feet here. It's been 9 months, and I have yet to land a full time gig. I'm grateful for the work I have gotten (especially my steady gig at SportsNW and Steve feeding me a few layouts for OKT), but it's really hard for me maintain anything with fluctuating paychecks, especially with the incredible cost of living.
I don't think I can even begin the full emotional blanket that is covering me at the moment. Every day seems to be a struggle to get out of bed, and there is an ever decreasing sense of motivation. Last month, I picked up this online job creating shirts for colleges. The pay wasn't great, but I thought if anything, I could pick up a few bucks to help pay for a bill or two. Well, I've been doing that for a few weeks, and all I feel like it's done to me is degrade my abilities as a designer. There is nothing more degrading than a frat boy giving you direction for a "design" which ends up changing 4 times before it's done, mind you it becomes the opposite of what they first said they 'wanted.' It's a frustrating matter.
Among other things frustration, both mine and Mike's computers have been total jerks, as mine seems to be on a weekly crashing basis now. As mine is growing slower and slower as well. I wish I could begin to describe that ever growing frustration as well. It's like if you were a cash register, and every time you had to give cash back to someone, it takes five mins, instead of 10 seconds. I don't know how else to really describe that one. I swear it takes at least five mins for my photoshop to open, and when I have more than one Adobe program open, my computer really starts slowing down.
Oh yeah, and everyone has been late for my paychecks this month. Fun.
That is all for my rant right now.
Other than that, it's been great out here. The Seattle Rain is just been beating us down (hasn't rained in what? 3 weeks?). It's been super awesomely nice out for weeks, and it's been great having a constant view of the mountains here. Seattle Notes #2 will be posted later this week....
I don't think I can even begin the full emotional blanket that is covering me at the moment. Every day seems to be a struggle to get out of bed, and there is an ever decreasing sense of motivation. Last month, I picked up this online job creating shirts for colleges. The pay wasn't great, but I thought if anything, I could pick up a few bucks to help pay for a bill or two. Well, I've been doing that for a few weeks, and all I feel like it's done to me is degrade my abilities as a designer. There is nothing more degrading than a frat boy giving you direction for a "design" which ends up changing 4 times before it's done, mind you it becomes the opposite of what they first said they 'wanted.' It's a frustrating matter.
Among other things frustration, both mine and Mike's computers have been total jerks, as mine seems to be on a weekly crashing basis now. As mine is growing slower and slower as well. I wish I could begin to describe that ever growing frustration as well. It's like if you were a cash register, and every time you had to give cash back to someone, it takes five mins, instead of 10 seconds. I don't know how else to really describe that one. I swear it takes at least five mins for my photoshop to open, and when I have more than one Adobe program open, my computer really starts slowing down.
Oh yeah, and everyone has been late for my paychecks this month. Fun.
That is all for my rant right now.
Other than that, it's been great out here. The Seattle Rain is just been beating us down (hasn't rained in what? 3 weeks?). It's been super awesomely nice out for weeks, and it's been great having a constant view of the mountains here. Seattle Notes #2 will be posted later this week....
posted by Christopher at
2:52 AM
1 Comments:
I'm sorry my brotha. That was bold moving out there but was probably necessary even thought its difficult. Hope for the best.
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